Sunday, May 22, 2016

One thing for sure i have learned in life
             you can call it wisdom if you want
is that it won't turn out anything like you planned
       wanted
               imagined.

that changed my life

i was a planner
      a thinker
             a lister

and i had been taught we should do that

now i am not so sure

now i think
      maybe
            we need to work instead -
on refining our attitude and reactions to be Christlike.

that is - for me - actually a much harder task
     than planning
              preparing
                     doing

to have life happen in a way you hate
        to be torn and broken
                  destroyed

and remain Christlike

that is not easy
      that does not come naturally

i think one's time would be better devoted
     to preparing for that eventuality
            than to attempt to control life

because you can't

at some point it surely has to occur to you
      that you are so far from in charge
                that it isn't even funny

well,
     if you live in reality
             i think it must

so ~
     my life philosophy
                such as it is
has changed

from a path model
              to a reaction model
from an action model
      to a reaction model
perhaps respond is a better word.
     reactions tend to not be our best foot forward
response seems more thought out


and that is the greatest wisdom of my 50 years
              not really sure what that says about me
but i think maybe i wish someone had told me that a long time ago

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